Have you ever been in a place where it’s just so, so dark? I mean, physically dark? Like you couldn’t see a THING. I went to Mammoth Cave once, and when you get down in there, way in the bowels of the earth, they stop and tell you they are going to turn out the lights. It is the thickest, most palpable darkness you’ve ever not seen! My immediate reaction (well, even before they turned out the lights) was to hold my little people closely so they wouldn’t panic. Or maybe so I wouldn’t panic. Whatever. But that’s a natural reaction when it’s so dark you can’t see anything. Not even your own body. You reach out to touch something.
I have a few friends who are blind. They live in that kind of darkness day in and day out. And they touch things a lot. The meanest thing you can do to a blind person is walk into a room they are in alone, and not announce yourself. Because they can sense you are there, but they don’t yet know who you are. So, your presence is fearful in its unknown-ness. As you read this, I have a blind friend living with me for a few weeks. I know her well, we’ve worked together for 9 years. She teaches me – a lot. But while she’s here, I’m working to remember to do things differently. To describe – well, everything. To not leave the dishwasher open while I step away to do something else. To not leave shoes in the living room (OK – this is not me – I NEVER leave shoes in the living room – but someone else in my house does – so I have to keep reminding him…). To ask her if she wants things that I’m getting since she can’t see me with it.
Darkness changes everything.
Have you ever been in a place that dark emotionally? When there’s really just no light. The darkness is palpable, threatening to swallow you like a dark blob. (Did you ever see that movie? I saw it as a little kid. It was terrifying!) Dark places like that are like blindness in many ways. We start to perceive things differently. Fears that are irrational seem very, very real. And we need to hold onto something to ground us.
I was listening to one of my currently favorite groups (Sons of Korah) lately and they have a version of Psalm 139 that I found really meaningful. There was a phrase in that psalm that hit me in a new way as I listened. Psalm 139:11-12 says – If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” Previously, I had always thought of this in terms of physical darkness. If I go to a dark place, you are there, and you are light. (Maybe this stems from my intense fear of the dark in childhood that followed me all the way through college!) But as I listened on this day, it hit me differently. The psalmist could be talking about emotional darkness.
When I am afraid that the deep, intense darkness happening in my life right now is going to cover me, swallow me, consume me, and that even light or joy will be inky blackness – even then, You are there. The darkness will NOT consume me, because to You, darkness is not dark at all. You are light, and You consume darkness.
Look to the Light, Friend. Light eats darkness for breakfast. And our Light penetrates even the deepest of darkness. You are safe. You are held. You are not alone. Even in the darkness – He is there.
| Here is the song I was listening to. May it minister to your soul too – whether you are in a dark place or not. |