I’ve spent the last 2 weeks
with Adama, my friend who is blind. I’ve learned a lot from Adama over the
years, but this past week I’ve really taken note of something in particular,
which I would like to incorporate in my own life to a much greater extent.
Adama has learned the practice of being content. Like the Apostle Paul, she is
content when she has much, and content when she has little. I’ve been studying
her practice of contentment and trying to determine how she came to be this
way. I’ve known Adama for almost 10 years, and I know that this was not always
the case, so I’ve been observing keenly to understand what has made her so
content.
Of course, some of her contentment was not her
choice. Sometimes, Adama doesn’t really have a lot of choice in life, due to
her blindness and the culture in which she lives. For example, if she’s
hungry, she’ll have to eat whatever the person with her cooked. She doesn’t
cook, and she doesn’t get to choose very often. If she wants to go somewhere,
she has to wait until someone is available to take her. But she has a choice in
how she responds to these daily inconveniences, and she chooses contentment and
patience. So, there’s an element of contentment which has been thrust upon her,
but there are other aspects of it as well.
We were traveling last week – a
really long journey, in a vehicle not made for 5 adults and their baggage –
physical or otherwise. We stopped at a rest area, and most of us had to go to
the bathroom, but Adama didn’t. She got out of the car, from the very cramped
back seat, and said she would just stand next to the car. I asked if she was ok
standing there alone while I went to get a drink. She asked, “Well, will I be
safe?” I scanned the area, saw only one old man with a cane, and said, “Yes, it
looks like you are, and I am not far away.” She said, “OK then, I am fine
here.” Indeed, being safe is important, especially when you can’t see, but it
is KNOWING you are safe that allows your heart to be at rest.
Another time, we were at a salad bar. I am
always trying to give her agency in the situations she’s in while here in the
States. Agency is the ability to make your own choices and carry out your own
wishes. But sometimes I run into problems with this here. For example, how do
you explain the differences between ranch, bleu cheese, balsamic vinaigrette,
and Italian dressings to someone who is blind and has never had a salad?? You
see the problem… So, I was trying to explain in vain, and finally said, “Do you
mind if I just choose a dressing for you?” She replied, “Sure, Kim, I know you
will only give me good things.” I was struck by that – when
you know a person will only give you good things, you can trust what they give
you, even if you don’t know anything about it.
Adama is a girl who loves her food. And every
single food she has eaten in the past 2 weeks has been completely new to her.
I’ve done my best to try to explain things she’s never heard of before, and
can’t see – tacos, hummus, baba ghanoush, chicken alfredo
(you can see we’ve hit a bunch of ethnicities)… And each time she has tried all
of the new things and emptied her plate, I’ll ask if she needs anything else.
Her response is often, “Kim, I am fed.”
We’ve also had a TON of new experiences since
she’s been here. Learning to walk independently with a cane, using a microwave,
getting her own tea in the morning and pouring boiling water from a tea kettle,
using an iPhone, taking a shower instead of the bucket bath she has had for the
past 40 years, and the list goes on. EVERYTHING is new. And I look for
opportunities for new things to try that won’t be too overwhelming but will
continue to expand her world and open up new possibilities for her future. And
things that will just be fun. So, while at my parents’ house, I asked her if she’d
like to learn to drive their golf cart. She chuckled and said, “Will you be
with me?” “Absolutely!” “OK, then, let’s do it!” And so we did, she drove
around and around the circle in their cul de sac, and had a blast, even going
full speed around the circle at the end once she had gotten the hang of it (I
helped steer…).
“Will I be safe?”
“You only give me good things.”
“I am fed.”
“Will you be with me?”
What if these were the conversations
I had with my Father on a regular basis.
“Will I be safe?”
You are my fortress. A strong tower. You are my
hiding place. You surround me with songs of deliverance. Yes! A resounding
yes! I am safe. Then carry on, Father.
“You only give me good things.”
Every good and perfect gift comes from above. If
a father gives his children bread when they ask, how much more will your Father
in heaven give you good things when you ask. You satisfy my desires with good
things.
The things you give me ARE good. I may not see
it yet – but they are!
“I am fed.”
You satisfy the desire of every living thing.
You will supply all that I need according to your glorious riches. I have never
seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread.
What I have is enough, because you have given it
to me. I have everything I need.
“Will you be with me?”
I will never leave you or forsake you. Lo, I am
with you always, even to the end of the age. I will send the Holy Spirit to be
with you forever.
Yes, you are always with me, and I am never
alone.
These are the truths that I need to tell myself
every day, because then, and only then, can I be content, and know that
I am safe. It is really all about trust. In complete and unequivocal trust we
will find contentment, and be at rest.
Adama with her requested mocha frappuccino, and Adama with Rosa Parks. Rosa and Adama are kindred spirits.
They would have been friends in another time.
Driving the golf cart and exploring the church. Adama thought this pulpit was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen!