Do you struggle with perfectionism? Always wishing you were just a little bit better? Constantly defeated by that sin or character trait that you’ve worked so hard to overcome or tame? Re-writing, re-wiping, re-finishing, re-trying – hoping to get it just a little bit better, cleaner… perfect? Read on. Maybe you’ll be encouraged!
Already and Not Yet
A mother and father eagerly anticipated the birth of their first child. Long awaited and deeply loved, even before she was born, Karis made her way into the world in the usual manner. But something was amiss. Unbeknownst to her parents, the cord had wrapped tightly around Karis’ tiny neck during the last week of pregnancy, cutting off needed blood to her brain. She was born with significant brain damage. Doctors said she would never walk, never talk, never interact with her parents in any meaningful way.
The parents’ dreams were shattered. Their hopes of a perfect, healthy baby were gone and sadness and despair settled in. The news was difficult, but Karis had a loving extended family that stepped in with support and practical assistance. The early months weren’t too challenging. Most babies don’t do a lot in the first few months. But as time went on, they were reminded with each milestone that their friends’ babies passed that Karis was not a normal baby. Karis’ parents, however, began to realize the gift that she was. She had a little more function than doctors had anticipated, and through regular therapy, Karis began to watch their faces and follow them with her eyes. They knew that she knew them, and they were thrilled! In their minds she was perfect, just the way she was.
Years passed, and the challenges increased. Karis became heavier and heavier as she grew, and it was not easy to lift her, carry her or take her places, despite the assistive devices they had access to. Her parent’s diligence in therapy resulted in her having some muscle strength though, which helped with moving and transferring her. And Karis had a sweet personality. Doctors were wrong about meaningful interaction, she smiled a lot, reveling in the love of her devoted parents. Her family adored her and rejoiced in every tiny milestone she reached. The day she swung her arm to touch her brother, but knocked him in the face instead, the family laughed and threw a party! Her chocolate colored curls and dark brown eyes melted every member of the family. “Oh Karis!” they’d say, “you’re just perfect!”
But there was always a sadness, for the loss of what would never be. She would never walk on her own, never communicate all that her expressive eyes belied, never read and write, never paint, or sing, or dance, never graduate from college or have a job. These losses came with grief, but her family still rejoiced at all that was.
When Karis was about 10 years old, scientists made a breakthrough discovery. A new stem cell and enzyme therapy was found to reverse brain damage in some children with brain injuries. Karis was accepted into the experimental treatment group. Hope grew.
After her first treatment, her mother noticed her moving her legs. On her own! She was thrilled! After three treatments, she moved her hand to her face to scratch an itch! After 6 treatments, during her physical therapy appointment, Karis stood on her own legs with support! It was a miracle! Her parents were astonished, and wept with joy. She completed the experimental treatments, and therapy continued. In time, Karis learned to walk. It was never smooth and lilting, more of a jerky, stilted gait, but it didn’t matter to her family. Karis learned to talk as well. Not clearly, but they could understand her needs and wants. The day Karis leaned on her mom’s shoulder and said “I luf oo” was the highlight of their year.
Karis continued to improve. She would always have limitations and extra needs, but she was capable of so much more than anyone had believed. Was she perfect?
It depends on who you’re asking.
But to Karis, as her name implies, every win is all grace.
** ** **
How often do we struggle for perfection?? Fighting a losing battle to get it exactly right. Afraid of rejection if we mess it up. Deep down fearing that even God Himself will turn away if we mess up bad enough.
But that will never be.
Because – Jesus.
Hebrews 10:14 says, “by a single sacrifice he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.” That’s us. We are perfect – by His sacrifice and imputed righteousness – and we are being perfected – always growing, always transforming. But because of Christ, and His work on our behalf – keeping the impossible law, obeying every word and thought of the Father, obliterating sin on the cross and conquering death – our Father sees us as perfect. Does he see our sin and failure? Of course He does.
But just as Karis’ parents saw her as perfect in her imperfect state of disability, and continued to rejoice in her growth and transformation as she grew “more perfect,” their joy in their daughter was not rooted in how perfectly she performed. Either way, she was perfect, because she was theirs.
That is Karis. Grace.
Live loved. Live accepted. Live perfect.
Because you are.