This has been one of those weeks – the kind I talked about a couple of weeks ago, where any intentions of stillness or contemplation or meditation fly right out of the window in the midst of sickness, urgent care visits, packing for an upcoming trip, shopping for said trip and the boy you are leaving behind, and other stuff life throws at you – which was quite a bit this week.
But, all is well.
Here’s my take away from this week – my take away into the weeks to come: Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ surrounding me. He is there. In the chaos, in the stress, in the extra stuff that comes flying in out of nowhere – he is there. He’s in mine. He’s in yours. He NEVER. GOES. AWAY.
I leave tomorrow for Sierra Leone. It feels like I was just there – because I was. And this time, with a team of 9 people, half of whom have never been to Sierra Leone or anyplace like it before. That’s always kind of stressful for me. It’s all so familiar to me, so normal, so beautiful – and broken, that it’s hard for me to see through other’s eyes there. And there is so much going on – particularly on this trip – skills training classes, administrative issues (some of them really, really big, heavy, and critical), staffing transitions, spiritual care retreat for the staff, Transformation Training data collection assessment and graduation ceremony, team orientation, care and debriefing, myriads of logistics, and that’s just the major things on the list.
And then there is myself and my own soul. Sierra Leone is where my closest friends live. I see them a couple of times a year, and most of the time, I have slots where I can work in time with them. These are friends with whom I have deep history, shared values and lifestyle, common struggles and passions – and I literally only see them a relative few hours a year. But those few hours are a deep well for my soul. On this trip, however, I don’t see those time slots happening. And that makes me sad already.
And, I’m going into this trip with some health issues – some will resolve over the next week (God, and my immune system, willing), and some will not. So, that adds a layer of stress as well. I feel a need to go into this 3 weeks with weapons cocked and at the ready, taking on the giants from without, and battling down the inner false self that tends to thrive in stress-laden situations. But, alas, my armory is empty.
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Amen. May it be so.