After my last email, some people have asked me about the Enneagram. I’m no expert, but I thought I’d share a few thoughts, and you can see if they are useful to you. The Enneagram is a personality typing tool that dates back to the ancients. It means (in Greek – so you can feel super smart) “9 symbol.” (Or maybe not that smart…) It has nine different personality types, that then further branch out into “wings” and places of disintegration and integration, triads, centers, and a whole lot of deeper dives into everything you ever wanted to know about yourself and everyone else you know – or didn’t.
Before you go too much farther into the Enneagram, be forewarned – it’s a rabbit hole. You might never get back.
Despite looking like something used in Satanic rituals, the Enneagram is actually a tool that is most commonly used for spiritual formation and growth.
My last retreat at the Transforming Center was themed around self-examination, and part of what we studied and explored was the Enneagram. Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates probably knew about the Enneagram too. It’s that old. There are lots of good ways to get to know yourself, but the bottom line is, most of us don’t really want to go there. It’s scary. You start digging around in there, and you really just don’t know what you will find. Have you ever been doing a deep dive on yourself and suddenly, out of nowhere, you’re hit with some horrible memory that you didn’t even remember you had? See, nobody wants that stuff flying around! It’s dangerous! You might get hit with it and it’ll hurt.
But the problem is, it’s there. All those memories. All those childhood wounds. All the sins you tried to forget about, or hope others forgot about. All the things – recent or distant past – that people have said that have left a mark on you. It’s all still there. And it informs who we are, whether we want it to or not. So, we might as well make friends with it, right? You know what they say – keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Well, you are both of those to yourself. Your own best friend, and your own worst enemy. Making friends with yourself – all of you – is a good way to disarm the stuff that comes flying out of nowhere, and make it a lot less harmful – to yourself AND others.
The difference between the Enneagram and some of the other popular personality tests (Meyers-Briggs, Strengths Finders, etc.) is that most of those tests will tell you the “what” about you, the Enneagram will tell you “why.” The Enneagram looks deep at the things that motivate you, the childhood wounds that didn’t heal well that are crippling you, the fears that drive you to do what you do, etc. But if you have the right resources, you can also pair that with the spiritual practices that will strengthen you where you’re weak, and counter the lies that you might be believing which are causing you to think and act in a certain way.
Ruth Haley Barton cautions that the Enneagram is not a “parlor game.” (I’m not really sure what a parlor game is, but she’s older than I am…) But the point is if you really know what the Enneagram is, and all that it can point to, it’s not something to just fool around with. Her example of a popular practice, particularly among the younger set, is when people will introduce themselves to her by their number – “Hi! My name is Claire and I’m a 7!!” (If Claire really is a 7, there will definitely be 2 exclamation points on there.) RHB says, essentially that’s like walking up to someone and saying, “Hi! My name is Claire and my besetting sin is that I’m an addict!!”, which is kind of a socially inappropriate way of introducing yourself to a stranger.
So, if I haven’t scared you away, I highly recommend doing a dive (reference the rabbit hole warning from earlier…). Personally, it has been so clarifying. I’ve learned a lot about why I do the things I don’t like that I do. I’ve learned how to implement practices and rhythms that counter my weaknesses and combat the fears that assault me. I’ve understood other people in my world much better, and can have more grace with them. While I wouldn’t attribute all of my growth in the past year to knowing my Enneagram profile, I would definitely say that it was a tool the Lord used to open up some closed doors that were in need of cleaning out.
Know thyself…
Kim
Here are just a few resources I can recommend. There are thousands, but here are a few I’ve found helpful, and stick to a pretty orthodox Christian viewpoint.
A couple of websites:
Your Enneagram Coach – I like this one for its simplicity. Also has a free test.
The Enneagram Institute – this one provides a test, which is pretty extensive, but it costs $12.
A couple of digital resources:
Typology Podcast – Podcast by Ian Cron
EnneaApp – Handy resource at your fingertips
And 3 good books:
