In Peter Pan, Peter’s shadow looks a lot like him, but it seems to have a mind of its own, and frequently gets into trouble, even running away from Peter at one point. That’s the thing with shadows – they are a bit tricky. Our shadows tend to be that troublesome as well.
I’ve spent some time over the past few days pondering shadows. My own shadow, to be specific.
We all know that often our greatest strengths can also be our greatest pitfalls if we aren’t careful. That’s just another way of saying that we all have a “shadow side.” This quarter in my Transforming Community we are focusing on self-examination. That’s just a really nice way of saying we’re spending time wading through our own crap and figuring out how to get rid of it. It’s also a way of saying that we’re looking at our shadow side. It’s all the same thing really. Looking at the darker sides of who we are, and allowing light to shine on it.
The Enneagram, which I’ve mentioned before, does this. Unlike other “personality tests,” the Enneagram specifically shines light on the darker places of our souls, illuminating the things that have caused the darkness, and bringing it into the light for examination. It looks at the ways that we move toward disintegration, which is just another way to talk about a “shadow side.” These are all metaphors for the same thing – sin. Every positive tendency has a way that it becomes dark. Here are some examples:
The Healthy Trait
- Loving excellence
- Wanting to help people
- Being productive & successful
- Having a sensitive spirit
- Being wise & knowledgeable
- Being loyal
- Exuding joy
- Being strong and protective
- Being a peacemaker
The Shadow Side
- Being a demanding perfectionist
- Becoming a martyr
- Extreme image-management
- Being overly emotional
- Having intellectual arrogance
- Not knowing when to let go
- Losing touch with deeper emotions
- Being confrontational & agressive
- Avoiding conflict at the cost of love
Unless we learn to look at our shadow side and do something about it, we will never be healthy, growing disciples. We all have one (or two, or twenty…), but we tend to ignore them. And like Peter’s shadow, when we aren’t looking, they capriciously start wreaking havoc.
A shadow, by definition, is a dark reflection of myself when I am in the way of the light. The best way to get rid of a shadow is by letting the light shine on it. But in order to do that, we have to do one of two things:
- Step aside
If the light of Christ’s glory is behind us, and we are in the way, a shadow will result. There are many ways to be in the way of His light – our own agendas, our broken desires, our sin patterns, our ignorance, our refusal to look or listen – just to name a few. But if we truly want the light of Christ to be seen, we have to get out of the way. When His light, His truth, His righteousness, His goodness, and His grace shines, it brings health and healing and joy and peace. But when we get in the way, our shadow side starts to cast darkness in places that could be filled with His light. We have to get out of the way! - Become transparent
A clear window has never cast a shadow. We are the light of the world. And the light that we bring to the world is not ours, but rather His light shining through us. When we put up walls and hold up masks and close the doors of our heart – we are not transparent. The light is blocked, and a shadow is cast. We HAVE to become more transparent, more vulnerable, and more authentic if we are truly going to be the light of Christ.
It sounds easier on paper (or screen). But I am convinced it is the only way. It is a painful, liberating, excruciating road to freedom that cannot be left untraveled. If you want to journey a little further down that road, there are a couple of resources below that you’ll find helpful.
The Emotionally Healthy Leader – Face Your Shadow
Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability